Father's Day Funny Quotes

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. --Red Buttons

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. --Bill Cosby

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.--Robert Orben

If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons. --James Baldwin

It is a wise father that knows his own child. --William Shakespeare

Those who trust us educate us.--T. S. Eliot

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.--Charles Wadsworth

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. --Mark Twain

That is the thankless position of the father in the family-the provider for all, and the enemy of all.--J. August Strindberg

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection. --Sigmund Freud